There is no sentence that makes this all right. Anyone who offers you one quickly has not sat with the question.
What happened to you was not your fault, was not deserved, and was not God's will.
What we will not say
We will not say it happened for a reason. We will not say God allowed it to make you stronger. We will not ask you to be grateful for it.
What Catholic faith does hold
That God is grieved by what was done to you and stands with the victim, not the one who caused harm. That the human being who abused you had free will and used it to do evil.
That justice matters to God. Scripture is unusually direct about protecting the vulnerable and confronting those who exploit them.
Why God 'allows' evil is not a settled comfort
Catholic theology distinguishes between what God causes and what God permits out of respect for human freedom, but this distinction can feel cold when you are the one who was hurt, and it is fair to say so.
It is honest to hold both: that this is a real theological question serious thinkers have wrestled with for centuries, and that no answer removes what was done to you.
What Scripture says
- Psalm 10:17-18
- Matthew 18:6
Scripture, in context
Matthew 27:46
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Translation: Douay-Rheims (public domain)
Common misconceptions
- “God must have had a plan for your suffering.”
- The Church does not teach that God plans or wills abuse. God can bring good out of evil without having authored the evil: those are not the same claim.
- “If you still ask this question, you don't have enough faith.”
- Job, the psalmists, and Jesus himself on the cross ('My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?') asked God why. The question is part of faith, not outside it.
Questions people are often afraid to ask
If you want to pray
God, where were you?
I am not letting go of that question.
Be here now, in a way I can feel. Amen.
Read the original sources
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2777-2778 (on lament and honest prayer)