No faith obligation requires you to stay somewhere you are being harmed. Not marriage, not family unity, not the sake of the children.
Please involve trained people
Advocates can help with safety planning, shelter, protective orders, and documentation. This is practical work, and it is not something to do alone or based on a website.
If you are being monitored, consider using a device the other person cannot access, and clear your browsing history.
What the Church has said
The U.S. bishops have stated plainly that no person is obliged to remain in an abusive marriage and that separation for safety is legitimate.
Common misconceptions
- “Catholics cannot separate from a spouse.”
- The Church permits physical separation when a spouse is endangered; see 'Annulment and separation questions' for how this relates to canon law.
Questions people are often afraid to ask
A prayer before a hard, necessary step
God, give me the safety to do what needs to be done.
Go ahead of me into this decision.
Amen.
Practical next steps
- · Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline to build a safety plan before you leave.
- · See 'Safety planning basics' for concrete steps.