This page offers general orientation only. Safety planning works best with a trained advocate who can tailor it to your specific risk, resources, and location: please treat what follows as a starting conversation, not a complete plan.
General starting points
Identify a few trusted people you could contact or stay with in an emergency, and consider a code word with them that signals you need help without saying so directly.
If possible, keep copies of important documents (ID, financial records, immigration papers) somewhere the other person cannot access: with a trusted friend, in a locker, or digitally in an account only you control.
Consider what devices may be monitored. A public library or a friend's device can be safer for sensitive searches or calls.
Leaving is often the most dangerous time
Risk of serious harm frequently increases around the time someone leaves an abusive relationship. This is a documented pattern, not a reason to stay: it is a reason to plan the departure with a trained advocate rather than alone.
Common misconceptions
- “Safety planning means you've decided to leave.”
- You can build a safety plan while still deciding, still living with the person, or with no plan at all to leave. It is protective either way.
Questions people are often afraid to ask
Practical next steps
- · Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to build a specific plan confidentially: this is free and available 24/7.
- · If children are involved, ask an advocate about safety planning that includes them.